Pacing

"I am conveying stories about my personal experience based on other people’s stories. It is as though I am channeling community stories or collective experience-it is mine but it also belongs to other people and I can filter it through my creative lens."

-Pepón Osorio (La Bicicleta, above)

So I know that I still have so much to do, and I am continually going back and forth between feeling like I have absolutely nothing and trying to trust in "the process." I kind of feel lost about the best way to move forward right now, and I don't know if I actually have a reasonable schedule to work with. I haven't even really started shooting yet, I lost a camera that had a lot of stuff on it, and I am relying more on other people when I haven't even done that much yet. I really need to get moving on stuff, but wheeerreee/whaaaat. I keep losing either motivation or inspiration. They don't seem to be coming together much. I don't have any actors, no leads what so ever, and I don't know if it is because I actually prefer it to not be strangers or if I am just delusional? I feel like I am the only person with no footage right now, and I don't know why that is. Trying to stay positive and focus. I learned how to use InDesign. Ugh. I think I need to just write all my ideas down, even though I have been putting this off because I feel self-conscious about not doing something strictly "academic."
I just need to get over the privilege to be so languishy. Tomorrow I finally pick up a camera, and hopefully it will flow.